Friday, February 3, 2012

Maintaining A Healthy Relationship

It appears to me that a lot of  couples these days, forget who they started out being. Many couples forget their roots. After being together for a  few years or more they seem to lose that friendship that once bonded them together. Why is that?  Do we really change all that much?  I don't think so. So why then do we so often start to drift apart? The truth is we just get too comfortable, and no longer put forth  the effort  that we did in the beginning. To repair the damage, an active program of preventative maintenance is required.

You should reflect on your relationship and what has changed—likely there was there more kissing, touching, texting and bantering than now . Those early connections not only moved the relationship forward initially, they are also instrumental in keeping the relationship fresh now. Why would we want to let that initial excitement die? For a long term relationship to succeed for the long term, a lot of work is required from both parties. Stress is the usual place to put the blame, but that is not always applicable. All these issues were probably the ones that made us closer in the first place.

If we are like most couples, we just get lazy. We get into our comfort zone, and let things deteriorate past the point of no return. Men might get in the habit of checking out other women and not paying attention to the one they are with.  Women might take a look at the cute butt of some hot guy, and romanticize about them. The point is we stop complimenting each other, and for the person at the other end of this scenario it can be quite a let down. We start to feel less adequate - less attractive. Most times were even afraid to say something for fear of upsetting the other person even though their actions have made us angry. Women you need to speak up, and express your  disapproval, and men you  need to listen without getting your  backs up, and vice versa.  We need to always be aware of our partners feelings - relationships take work, and when both partners work at it - it grows into a lasting romance. Here are some examples of points to ponder to keep a relationship healthy:

1) Make a conscious effort to compliment your partner on a daily basis- you will be surprised at how how much a compliment means to your partner, and how good it makes them feel
2) Tell them you love them --- sometimes we don't hear this enough
3) Men have to stop staring at other women – it may be conditioned by advertising, but it is just demeaning to your partner. And women need to think about comments that they may make about other guys.
4)  Dishonesty is the root of all relationship dissension – make a habit of telling the truth, even if it might lead to embarrassing explanations.
5) Have some alone time....every day make a little time whether its just a stroll, or snuggling up on the sofa to watch a movie
6) Talk to each other and make sure you bring up issues and work them through before they become an insurmountable obstacle.
7) Start your day off with a kiss and a statement that re-enforces your love and commitment to each other.
8) Be spontaneous- flirt with each other-  a little kissing on a stairwell before work can be rather sexy, and keep your partner thinking about you throughout the day
9) Don't be so serious...Laugh, smile, you know that saying “Partners that laugh together stay together” Its so true.....
10)  Never go to bed angry – talk it out and work it out – the best thing for a relationship is a kiss before you go to sleep. The second best thing is sex before you go to sleep. You cannot have the second without the first.

Relationships are not work at all once you develop the habits of endearment that make any relationship thrive.

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