Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Bad Boys Make Out Better Than Good Boys
The University of British Columbia (that is in the great white north), did a study of just over 1000 people divided evenly between men and women of all ages, and found some rather surprising results. (American Psychological Association Journal "Emotion")
The study had the people look at pictures of people of the opposite sex who had neutral expressions, looked happy, looked shameful, looked proud, or looked brooding. The participants were asked to rate their attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 9.
Women liked a proud physical expression on a man, and younger women were second most turned on to shameful expressions with sagging shoulders, etc.. Lowest ranked by all women were men who were obviously happy.
Likely women are attracted to successful looking guys because of the security that they represent. It would seem that women are looking for a good provider. Brooding bad boys are also quite attractive to younger women because in their hearts, they know they are brooding because they have not found the right woman and assume they will help them overcome that fault.
Bringing this back to our cave man days, a man that was a good provider was a good hunter and had a lot of skins around to keep him warm, thus showing his success. A bad ass dude would be able to take the riches from a good hunter, and thus could also provide. Ideally a good hunter who could kick the ass of any bad dude who tried to rob him would be doubly desirable.
Men dig fun happy women and find proud ladies a turn off. After all, what man in his right mind would want to come home to an uppity know it all.
Women with a shameful expression were also somewhat attractive to men. After all, if they have something to be ashamed about, maybe they can get them in the sack.
Using our cave man analogy again, what cave man in his right mind would want to come home from a hard day hunting animals and find that the wife had already cooked a meal from a rabbit she killed with a stone and roots she had already dug up – makes him look second rate after all.
So what can we derive from this study:
1) For Guys, you want to come across as confident and successful (the pro sports player, or successful entrepreneur). If you cannot pull that off, and you are after a younger woman, then try for a brooding James Dean / early Marlon Brando sort of look. In fact, if you can pull off the successful yet brooding and thoughtful man look, you will have females licking at your feet. For both of these looks, to hold onto them past the initial attraction, you do not kowtow to women. In fact, you will likely get your best traction by refusing to dote on them. Treating them like one of the guys is a better approach than treating them like princesses.
2) For Women, acting like you are better than everyone else, running down other people, or complaining about work all the time are all sure ways to send any guy packing. You need to be seen as a smiling, fun loving optimist, eager to look for the silver lining around any grey clouds in your life, and be willing to try new things. If you cannot pull of the happy face all the time, then the other approach would be to act like you were just caught with your pants down in church. If you look embarrassed or shameful about something, then men think you likely have something to be embarrassed about. They will likely stick around to find out if you can both participate in other potentially "embarrassing" encounters.
For other relationship advice see: