Thursday, November 8, 2012

Kudos to the BBW Woman

Everyone has his or her own definition of sexy. The idea of “sexy” is therefore somewhat slippery by nature, since the ideals are based on personal opinion of individuals. Social mores change, and with that change comes a shift in what it is that is considered to be a sexy person. For most of human history, sex was taken as a natural part of human interaction and was discussed about freely. However, for much of the twentieth century, the discussion of sex became a forbidden topic, and with that, the social mores of society shifted into previously uncharted territory. The film industry coupled with the Victorian era taboos on sex, were a one – two punch that profoundly shifted the perceptions of society.  The film industry stars tended to be slimmer than the norm for society in that time. The explanation was quite legitimate. There is an optical illusion with cameras that seems to add pounds to anyone on camera, so slimmer stars off camera looked normal on-camera.  The frequent public exposure of these sex symbols gradually helped to shift the social view of sexy from voluptuous to thin.

When you look back in time, voluptuous women were considered to be most desirable. Men were attracted to larger women because they understood that they tended to be better child bearers and more nurturing. Even in during the last ice age, small figurines usually depicted their goddesses as voluptuous women and in most cases these statuettes were more fat than just curvy. Their ideal of the embodiment of a fruitful and renewing life. The lyrics in “Fiddler On The Roof” (the song “If I Was a Rich Man”) a story about Russian rural society at the turn of the twentieth century talks about a rich man’s wife as having a “proper double chin”. It is recognition of the fact that throughout history, and in most societies today, except western culture, being large is considered a status symbol because it shows that you have plenty to eat and therefore must be a good provider.

Towards the end of the twentieth century, there has been a lot of immigration from many various world cultures into north America. The ideals of these cultures is helping to shift the norm of society back to a preference for larger families and a shift in the perception of larger women as being more desirable wives and mothers.  BBW women are back in vogue. Who knows, maybe in a few more years, Hollywood hotties will be big beautiful women. Similar to Mae West in the 20's and 30's, you are starting to see fuller figured women enjoy a revival in Hollywood again.

Once again the wheel is turning and a shift of sexy to more normal body mass index women is occurring. Skinny women are flocking to plastic surgeons in droves for boob and butt implants. For those who cannot afford plastic surgery, slender women are lining up at lingerie stores to buy double and triple push up bras.  The result is a lot of disappointed men who date a skinny woman with large breasts only to find the mountains become mole hills when they have sex.  Men are discovering that a more voluptuous woman will never let down their expectations.  And on that note, who is more voluptuous than a BBW?

Check out the following page if you are interested in finding full figured women:

Free Online BBW Dating Sites

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Bad Boys Make Out Better Than Good Boys

The University of British Columbia (that is in the great white north), did a study of just over 1000 people divided evenly between men and women of all ages, and found some rather surprising results. (American Psychological Association Journal "Emotion")

The study had the people look at pictures of people of the opposite sex who had neutral expressions, looked happy, looked shameful, looked proud, or looked brooding. The participants were asked to rate their attractiveness on a scale of 1 to 9.

Women liked a proud physical expression on a man, and younger women were second most turned on to shameful expressions with sagging shoulders, etc.. Lowest ranked by all women were men who were obviously happy.

Likely women are attracted to successful looking guys because of the security that they represent. It would seem that women are looking for a good provider. Brooding bad boys are also quite attractive to younger women because in their hearts, they know they are brooding because they have not found the right woman and assume they will help them overcome that fault.

Bringing this back to our cave man days, a man that was a good provider was a good hunter and had a lot of skins around to keep him warm, thus showing his success. A bad ass dude would be able to take the riches from a good hunter, and thus could also provide. Ideally a good hunter who could kick the ass of any bad dude who tried to rob him would be doubly desirable.

Men dig fun happy women and find proud ladies a turn off. After all, what man in his right mind would want to come home to an uppity know it all.

Women with a shameful expression were also somewhat attractive to men. After all, if they have something to be ashamed about, maybe they can get them in the sack.

Using our cave man analogy again, what cave man in his right mind would want to come home from a hard day hunting animals and find that the wife had already cooked a meal from a rabbit she killed with a stone and roots she had already dug up – makes him look second rate after all.

So what can we derive from this study:

1) For Guys, you want to come across as confident and successful (the pro sports player, or successful entrepreneur).  If you cannot pull that off, and you are after a younger woman, then try for a brooding James Dean / early Marlon Brando sort of look.  In fact, if you can pull off the successful yet brooding and thoughtful man look, you will have females licking at your feet. For both of these looks, to hold onto them past the initial attraction, you do not kowtow to women. In fact, you will likely get your best traction by refusing to dote on them. Treating them like one of the guys is a better approach than treating them like princesses.
2) For Women, acting like you are better than everyone else, running down other people, or complaining about work all the time are all sure ways to send any guy packing. You need to be seen as a smiling, fun loving optimist, eager to look for the silver lining around any grey clouds in your life, and be willing to try new things. If you cannot pull of the happy face all the time, then the other approach would be to act like you were just caught with your pants down in church. If you look embarrassed or shameful about something, then men think you likely have something to be embarrassed about. They will likely stick around to find out if you can both participate in other potentially "embarrassing" encounters.

For other relationship advice see:

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Dating Women

If you are want advice on dating women, then this post hopefully will give you a few courses of action. When you are successful with women on a first date, they will likely be open for other dates, no matter what your financial position is or how you look. There is one key success factor, and that is charm, charm, charm.  Although there is such a thing as too flattering, girls will tend to forgive that. There is however, a few things you should not do such as:
1) Do not be too subservient such as
a. Making her feel so important that you lower your status to be less than hers. If you are praising her or giving her a complement, do it jokingly. You will achieve the complement yet still appearing to be a person of substance and stature.
b. Asking her to compare you with other guys – on a first date you will look like less because of the lack of history Do not force this comparison early; it is too soon to get into this depth of conversation.
c. Ceding control of the date. Questions should not be open ended. If you are not sure of where she would like to go, then give her short list of things to do next. If she is not happy with any of them, then you have have not done sufficient research as to what her needs are. You have screwed up, you deserve to be dumped. (On subsequent dates, you can ask for ideas, but on a first date you should appear to be in charge, well planned, but flexible).
2) The next fault is trying to impress her excessively. Do not crow and breast beat, and do not say how much money you make.  Just be a interested partner, listen to her, and pay the tab.  Date one is female centric, it is not about you. If she wants to know more about you, then answer them in something more than one word answers, but avoid excessive rhetoric, or else you are in the danger zone of saying too much and coming across as boasting or bragging.
3) Do not put her on a pedestal. That advice is more important if the woman is beautiful.  Very pretty women are used to being on a pedestal. Did you ever notice how often that really attractive women are dating hoodlums?  That is because hoods treat them normally and they feel like they are being appreciated for what they are. In many cases the bad boys are abusive, but they like that because at least the bum is treating them differently than everyone else does. Nothing is more tiring to sexy women as getting hit on – they have heard it all before.  The better approach is to just ask them something about themselves, such as what they are doing, where they work, etc.
4) Being exclusive too soon in a relationship.  both of you should be initially playing the field. If you seem too willing to commit exclusively, you will seem needy and diminished in their eyes.  No woman wants to be dating a grasping loser. You have to come across as successful in relationships, and therefore more interesting in her eyes.

If you are having trouble locating a suitable partner, then try the following pages to help you zero in on the type of woman that you desire:


Dating Adults

Mature Dating


Lesbian Dating


Dating Married

Top Ten Dating

Top 100 Dating

If this article has peaked your interest then visit the link below: 

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Dating Online Recommendations

Dating Online Survey Results:

The following summary from a study of 100 urbanites details some insights gained as to how people seek out dates and potential life partners. Online Dating Services may not result in you getting the person of your dreams, but it may be a welcome distraction from all those poorly directed and Television ads that try to convince you about how lonely you are during the late winter/early spring/ mid summer blahs.
Resulting Insights about Dating:

1)     In conventional dating, it is frowned upon when people have more than one person on the string at any one time.  With online dating, it is expected that people will go out with more than one person to test the waters to see if the pseudo-chemistry that they feel for the person when interacting online will actually translate to physical chemistry when they meet in person. Most people in the online dating community understand that you may interact with 10 people in real life before you feel any spark at all, and they may in fact not end up being the love of your life anyway.  Maybe more technologically oriented people are more fickle, or perhaps they are just more pragmatic but they do get the fact that if you only deal with one person at a time, and it takes you a week or two before you get comfortable enough to meet them in real life. So if you have to meet 10 or 20 people to find someone that you might want to get more serious with, then it would take years if you do not actually do some multi-tasking in the dating department. In any event, you would want to play the field until you find someone that you really bond with. After all, in real life, you are probably meeting a friend of a friend, or at least have had some opportunity to watch them interact with other people at your favorite watering hole. That tends to prescreen the people that you would actually go out with before you make any sort of commitment to one-on-one dating.  In actual fact, in most conventional dating scenes, you are actually doing some multi-tasking on the pre-screening front before you ever interact in the first place. Because of the anonymous nature of online dating sites, you cannot prescreen people through friends before meeting them. One way dating sites try to mitigate that is via chat and anonymous email, but even so, once you meet in real life for the first time, it has more of the hallmarks of a blind date that any other dating situation that you have found yourself in. With this high tendency not to hit it off on the first actual date, the online dating community tends to interact with more people at the same time, and as a consequence, they are more tollerant of people playing the field during the initial relationship phases.

2)     Online Dating is a visual media at best. If you do not post pictures or videos of yourself, especially in situations where you are having fun with others, you can expect little or no action.  And you ladies need not worry, as long as you have a reasonably flattering shot of yourself having fun someplace, you will likely get responses from lots of men.  For both men and women, this is a marketing exercise – the key here is not to take a crappy looking big-nosed picture of yourself staring into your web-cam’s fish eye lens – everyone already knows that you stare at your computer a lot because you are on an online dating site in the first place.  There is no need to supply a picture of you in such an unflattering pose. The key is to portray an image of you as a person who has fun interacting with other people, animals, children, sports events, etc. For women, since men do not read much, you have to be reasonably brief in what you say, but it also needs to be fun and engaging if you hope to have him read. Watch the movie “Must Love Dogs” for ideas in how to market yourself on an internet dating site. If you are a man – pay attention to the words as best you can – look for the “must not be” things that many women pre-qualify their profiles with, and do not annoy them if you are a “must not be” person.  Women are generally strong communicators; hopefully having to read “likes long walks on the beach” for the umpteenth time will not make you lose your cookies.  In any event, for both genders, keep the brief and factual (within limits of course – this is marketing after all). If you are lucky, you will find other people with similar interests and a complimentary sense of silliness. The anonymous chat and email services are there for your benefit and safety. Use them extensively before agreeing to meet in person for the first time. Do not try to give your life story in the profile.  Your online profile is a 30 second teaser commercial, not an in depth user manual.

3)     Men without jobs have little or no traction on dating sites that are focused on long-term relationships. Women do not want to hang their hats on perceived losers. On the other hand, if you can connect with a woman physically, they will often overlook the fact that you are flip burgers at McDonalds, as long as you are able to show her that you have solid future prospects.  Keep your personal financial status out of the conversation if at all possible. If the person keeps insisting on focussing on that particular statistic, they just might be a gold digger

4)     BBW women are as disadvantaged as they think they are. As long as you have it reasonably under control, many eligible guys are okay with a little padding around the middle. As long as you keep yourself in decent physical shape, you have an excellent chance of establishing a lasting relationship with a man. Since most women will often post a younger, or more flattering photo of themselves, they will often attract men online. Coupled with shaving a few years off of their ages is also done with great regularity.  Men are generally more honest about their ages, but may actually be more inclined to lie about their income. You will find however, that men almost never tell the full truth about their body weight. Almost all men show themselves as athletic, or average, almost never as overweight in any manner.

5)     There cannot be love in the online world, only attraction. To have love, you must have contact with the person.  You either totally connect and love someone, or you do not. It is the many little interactions between two people that add up to someone falling in love. If you meet someone online, they will likely want to meet in person within two to four weeks. If you take longer than that to get up the courage, you will likely miss the boat anyway. So if you are too cautious in online dating, you will most certainly fail.

6)     There is still a social stigma associated with online dating. The reputation is that people who use such sites don't have a real life. They are social outcasts, ugly people, and deviants. Nothing is further from the truth. With this in the back of their minds, people sometimes avoid using dating sites so they will not be branded a loser, or looked at as a potential sexual preditor or something equally disgusting.  The fact is that one in five relationships at the current time are people who met online.. You are likely at more risk of being stalked on facebook as you are on a modern dating site. Most people who meet and fall in love online do not broadcast how they met to the world at large, so all you hear about is the people who were not successful on dating sites. This leaves a bad negative impression of the online dating industry in the public eye. People will admit that they met in line getting an unemployment check, but they will not admit to meeting online for some reason.

7)    Online dating is amazing in it’s ability to connect people who would likely never have met in real life. Since everyone is there for the same reason, and since it is possible to simultaneously be interacting with several people at once, you really do have a much better chance of finding someone that you are truly compatible with for the long term. These social dating sites are the ideal place for busy professionals or single parents. Who has the time to hang out in bars with a bunch of underage teens with forged identity? There is not enough hours in the day, so if you want to meet someone, then you should take your search online to make more productive use of your limited time. Online dating is the wave of the present and future if you want to find successful and interesting people. No matter if the forum is online dating or bar hopping, when it comes to finding the person of your dreams, you will likely have to kiss a few frogs along the way. So just get out into that real world or Internet marshland and get on with it.

If you are interested in online dating sites, then you might want to check out this resource page:

Online Dating

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Finding Love Online – The Basics

This article is focused on the use of online dating sites to find love and happiness. I have observed the online dating industry for some time now, more as a curiosity than as a member.  As a member of several dating sites over the years, I have seen first hand how it is that people interact both successfully and unsuccessfully. I have also tapped into my own extensive circle of friends and acquaintances in this same time period and also witnessed most aspects of the offline dating world as well.

So what have I found?
Perhaps not too much that has not already been discussed by others in the past, but perhaps with a different twist on it.

Offline dating has been going on for thousands of years, and I doubt if anyone today could actually find much to add to the existing literature. I will therefore not try to pontificate in any manner on that aspect of dating, other than to note that most people tend to date within an extended community of friends for the most part. 

When it comes to Internet Dating, which has only been in existence since about 1995 or so, there are some insights that can be shared.

So lets start with some popular misconceptions:
Dating Sites Have Fool Proof Matching Formulas
False – Some dating sites work very hard trying to perfect their compatibility algorithms but some others just use superficial matching criteria – what is interesting is that neither extreme of these sites perform statistically better than the other.  The reason is that, quite frankly, there are two main obstacles that cannot be overcome when you are trying to match by formula.

It Is Less Work To Find My Match On a Dating Site
False – To make a long story short, it takes a lot of time getting to know anyone that you hope to be your life partner. You just cannot take any shortcuts here. In fact, for this aspect of using a dating site it takes more effort because of the anonymous nature of the environment. Everyone is using made up handles, so it is not as if you can check with a mutual friend to see what they are really like.

Internet Dating Sites are a Great Place To Find People to Date
True – If you are a person who uses dating to interact with someone that you are interested in; then a dating site is likely to connect you with many more people than you can possibly find via your own means offline.

Internet Dating Sites Are More Likely To Find My Soul Mate.
False – Quantity does not equal quality. Just because you can see and interact with a lot more people online than you can in real life does not mean that you are being exposed to quality people that you have any real compatibility with, and even if you are compatible from an intellectual point of view, there is no guarantee that you will find the chemistry with them that you need to achieve soul mate status.
So What Good Are Dating Sites Anyway

 They are dynamite if you are willing to be open and look outside of your normal comfort zone for possible matches. They are good for people who have not been successful finding their soul mate in real life because quite frankly they are looking for the wrong type of person in the wrong places.  The secret with online dating is to open yourself up to other possibilities that you might not have looked at before. Be willing to be disappointed with each person that you connect with, but also be willing to be entranced. You might be shocked at the person who ends up winning your heart.

You should approach using a dating site as you would approach using any new tool that can improve your productivity. It is possible for someone to use a tool incorrectly and end up being hurt. It is possible to be sloppy how you use a tool and end up getting inferior results (don't blame the tool). If you take the time to learn the advantages and disadvantages of the tool, and employ that tool correctly, then you have the optimal chance of finding your perfect match.

So, open your heart and give online dating a try.

You can start here:

Thursday, June 21, 2012

A Numbing Experience

Although this happened a few years ago, it is still an experience worth passing on.  It has to be classified as one of those moments that are a bit mortifying at the time, but in retrospect is truly hysterical.

I was going out with a really nice guy that I had met for a few months at that time. We were pretty far down the commitment road with each other, to the point where we were exclusive, had moved in together, and were not using condoms anymore. You may tsk tsk our not using condoms in this day and age, but I was on the pill and neither of us had any communicable diseases.  I cannot remember the first time we had sex together, but by then it was at least three or four times a week, and usually more than once when we did.  I had never had oral sex before I met him, and he taught me a lot. But what he really did was get me off really well. God he was good at oral!

Unfortunately he was never the longest lasting guy in the world when it came to regular sex, and I had sort of taught myself to come quickly if I wanted any form of orgasm at all. But I really, really wanted to have one of those deep, soul wrenching orgasms that I had read about so often in the books that I loved to read. I only had an inkling of what a full orgasm would be like. I mean, when he was in me, it felt so much better, and was so good, but he could never last long enough to satisfy me. It was only the oral sex that was keeping me sexually happy, but I wanted so much more.

As you can see I was somewhat frustrated, and being a private person by nature (at least about sex) I did not confide in anybody. Eventually I decided to do something about it.  There was a sex shop in a mall a few blocks from where I lived. One day when my boyfriend was out with his pals playing baseball, I decided to see what they might have to help. When I went in there was nobody there, thank God, and I approached a sales lady and let her know what my problem was.  She was very nice about it and made me feel comfortable. Apparently it is quite common for younger men to be a bit too excited when having sex and they just do not have any control. She showed me a cream that was designed to numb things down a bit so you could last longer. It appeared to be what I would need, so I bought it from her and took it home with me.

All the clocks seemed to stop that day, time just would not pass. I just knew that I had the secret elixir that was going to change my sex life forever. Finally, I was going to have the mind blowing, earth shattering orgasm that I had been reading about. I was on pins and needles.

That night, as I was getting ready for bed, I squeezed some from the tube and applied it liberally to my pussy. I could feel the effects immediately! I hopped into bed and started to get very affectionate  with him. As we started to kiss and cuddle, he started to kiss me all over my body. It was not long before he went down on me!

But wait! Something was wrong! This was supposed to be the best night ever but it was not! He was not stimulating me as well as he usually did. What was wrong? I kept telling him to lick me harder and faster! When he tried to reply, he could not talk. It sounded like he had marbles in his mouth. He was totally panicked. He ran to the bathroom and started to rinse his mouth out with water. In a desperate measure, he started to wash his mouth with soap, but all that did was make him gag. He still could not talk.  Eventually the effects started to taper off and he was able to talk.

He asked me if I knew what had happened.  After I explained my issue, he hung his head a bit and then asked to read the tube. Reading the instructions he just looked at me and shook his head. I asked him what was wrong. He guessed that I had not read the instructions, and I said why would I have to because the woman in the store told me I just had to rub it on.  He said it was unfortunate that I had not read the instructions because then I would have known I was supposed to rub it on his dick rather than on my pussy.  On top of that admonition, apparently the instructions also forbade oral sex while using that product!

I was shocked, then embarrassed. I blushed like a virgin seeing a man naked for the first time. Then I started chuckling. He also started laughing. Pretty soon we were hanging onto each other stark naked. Needless to say, one thing led to another and we had some pretty terrific sex that night. He was better than usual, and finally made me orgasm, but unfortunately the Moon did not stop in its orbit for me.

Well, I am older and wiser now. As it turns out, that was not my last trip to the sex shop, but let me tell you that from that point on, I was very careful to read the instructions completely before I bought anything.  Sadly, our relationship did not last much longer than that. He was transferred to another city, and my career would not allow me to follow.  But I will say that of all my lovers, he is the one that when I think of him I always smile.

For more sex advice and funny stories, try this link:

Relationships Advice For Women

Friday, May 18, 2012

Fishing For Love In All The Wrong Places

I was single and totally disillusioned with my life. I was tired of eating at home alone every night in my empty apartment. I did not have a ton of time on my hands to prowl bars. I did not have the finances to be out every night either, so I thought I should try a free online dating site. A good friend suggested a site called PlentyOfFish. The name seemed strange to me, but I joined anyway. I do not know about most areas, but where I come from there are not so many fish in the sea. At least not keepers.

My first experience connecting with a man from POF started out okay. He said he was from France, and seemed genuine enough. I was excited about dating a French lover. On our first date, the first thing that he wanted to do was to go to his house for drinks. I wanted to get to know him better before going to his house. Besides, I was hungry. So I suggested we go someplace for some food. He looked at me very strangely grabbed my arm and replied, “I am not wanting to know you. I am only wanting sex.” Well I suggested that if he touched me I would string him up by the eyelids and kick him in the nuts until he blinked!

My God, I could go on for many days telling you about the sleazy guys I met on plenty of fish. Pigs who tell you anything to get you in bed. From just plain liars to married men, to just mere perverts. Then of course there are the morons that you will not take no for an answer. They continue to call even though you told them to buzz off. They call even if you threaten to call the police. There is even a Gaga video that shows POF being used in prison. From my experiences, I will bet money that prison inmates have full access to this site.

In my experience, I have never found such a concentration of fakes, cheats and liars before. And they are all in one convenient place to boot! I met at least 30 guys in person and only one was worth dating, and as it turned out he was only looking to marry someone because he was an illegal immigrant who wanted to stay in the country. Others wanted me to go on web-cam so they could see what I really look like because they did not believe my profile photo. Can you imagine, they didn't believe what I looked like when most of them looked nothing like their photo. One good thing about POF (or most dating sites for that matter) is that you do not have to look like a super-model to attract attention. If you have passable good looks you will get more than your share of action.

The last straw for me with POF came when I made a date with a so called registered accountant, who by the way lives in a first class condo in down town New York. Everything was great. He took me to a top of the line restaurant. After questioning my tastes in food, he ordered for me, which was quite different than what most men would do. He ordered a really nice Pinot Grigio to go with our meals. We gone back to his place and he was a real gentlemen, we talked, laughed and snuggled.  Of course, the inevitable happened. The cretin asked me to strip naked, insert a horse tail butt plug and play horsy with him. Well after yelling at him a bit, using words like creep, pervert, twisted, and I forget what all else, I smacked him with my purse and cantered out of his life.

At that point, I went home and deleted my profile on Plenty Of Fish. It seems to be a popular site, but for me it was a complete waste of time. I was discouraged, and decided to never join another dating site.I was in the dumps about all of this and I promised myself that I would never do internet dating again. My friend, seeing how disillusioned I had become, decided to do some searching of her own. She told me she had stumbled upon a link that took her to a page that was full of dating site links for all kinds of dating preferences. She twisted my arm a bit and got me to at least check it out to see if I could find a better place than POF. I was rather surprised when I got there. There were tons of dating sites, and they were arranged in categories depending on what you wanted. It even had sites that specialized in gays, lesbians and swingers! I checked out a few of the sites and signed up on three. The nice thing was that all of these were free for women, but the men had to pay. That must help filter out a lot of the cretins, because it has been better. Best move I ever made. Now I am meeting decent men who are not looking for a bed buddy, but are genuinely looking for serious long term relationships. I’m really enjoying my social life again, and I couldn't be happier.

Most dating sites are not bad, although the totally free ones tend to attract more riffraff I am told. Even the best dating sites will have a few bad apples in them. You have to be on your guard anywhere. With internet dating you have to practice safe hex before you practice safe sex. Some sites will take that little extra step in an effort to keep their site safe. Bad apples will always find away to slip in to any site though, so its up to you to be aware of this and to not give out to much private information.

So take a look at the link below. It is the site my friend found. I am pointing you at their advice pages first. If you have never been on a dating site before, read up before joining. Good luck.

Online Dating Advice For Women